Formal Letter
Subject: Self-Introduction email
Dear Professor Blackstone,
I am P. Sangaranarayana, a first year
student from Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT) currently undergoing bachelors
in Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Land). I am writing to
formally introduce myself in-depth to you.
Prior to
enrolling into this course, I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a Diploma
in Aerospace Electronics. I have been passionate about the aviation industry since
young, and it is my lifetime ambition to become a pilot. I thoroughly enjoyed
studying aviation modules and
I must say that they further nurtured and enhanced my passion and interest for
the aviation industry. In fact, for my final year project at Temasek
Polytechnic, my team and I designed and built from scratch a Waterproof
Infiltration UAV (Drone) with 3D technology. However, due to stiff competition for Aerospace Engineering degrees in Singapore, I decided to get enrolled in Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering(Land).
My best communication
strength would be the ability to speak precisely and with
clarity. I believe giving an honest response is always preferable to wriggling
out of a question. When I was a commander back in my battalion, I had to be
precise with my instructions to my men both on field and back in camp to
eliminate any possibilities of miscommunications. Thus, answering straight to
the point conveys the message more accurately than beating around the bush. On
the other hand, one of my shortcomings would be my lack of confidence when
speaking to a large crowd. When I was giving a presentation in my previous
institution, I realized that I tended to either stand behind a podium or a
lecturer’s desk and was not able to deliver my speech with conviction.
Good communication is only
possible when the recipient is able to comprehend what is being communicated
fully. Thus, I believe my goal for the module is to learn the skillset of
breaking down large conceptual thinking into short and comprehensive statements
and to refrain from hiding behind an object to deliver an impactful speech. I
hope I can achieve my goals through this effective communication module with
your guidance.
Best regards,
P. Sangaranarayana
[Edited on 23/09/19]
Commented on Boon Kiat, Mirza & Tiara blog post.
[Edited on 23/09/19]
Commented on Boon Kiat, Mirza & Tiara blog post.
Hi Sangara, I've read through your letter and honestly, I think your letter is flawless. I channelled my most cynical grammar-nazi and vigorously looked for even a misplaced punctuation, but I found none. I think this is the reason why no one has commented on your blog post yet.
ReplyDeleteIn the spirit of the internet...:
FIRST!
Thanks How Wei for being very nice! Cheers!
DeleteDear Sangara,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear, concise and 'precise' letter of introduction (fulfilling, as you do, the assertion you make in paragraph 3 in terms of your communication strength). You elaborate on each of the points required for the assignment in good detail. I appreciate, for example, learning something about your fascination with aviation. At the same time, I wonder why you have appeared in SIE rather than, say, aviation engineering. So a further note of explanation might have been in order.
You do explain clearly your communication strengths and weaknesses with fine examples, and you provide relevant info on your goals for the module. For that reason, I tend to agree with How Wei
that your letter is very well written (though for slightly different reasons).
Here are a couple areas to consider:
1. phrasing/word use/collocations
-- to formally introduce and discuss more in-depth about myself.... > (for the same of conciseness and appropriate word use)
to formally introduce myself in-depth
-- One of the best communication strengths I believe to possess > (Are you talking in general or in relation to your own case?)
2. review your use of caps (see https://wmich.edu/writing/rules/capitalization )
-- Pilot
-- undergoing Bachelors in Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Land)
3. punctuation
-- Thus I believe
I look forward to working with you this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
Thanks Prof Blackstone for your reflection on my letter and truly appreciate it. Merci et au plaisir de travailler avec vous.
DeleteHi Sangara, I must say your letter is quite impressive. I tried to find any improper sentence structures or any minor grammar mistakes, but to no avail. Your strengths and weaknesses were clearly stated with supportive statements. It clearly meets the objective of what you are trying to say. But you could have elaborated on why you decided to shy away from the aviation industry.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mirza for taking your time to read my letter and give your feedback! I have updated the letter and have stated the reason why I decided to shy away from the aviation industry. Looking forward to work with you.
Delete